There was only one drawback to being in a relationship. It turns out that you’re not supposed to look at other girls. Now in general it’s understood that you’re not supposed to stare at girls. It’s weird and stalker-ish, so the challenge guys normally face is checking them out without quite staring.
I didn’t know that there is another way to be. But now, walking with Jean through the halls, I wasn’t supposed to check out any girls. Kyana had told me this at some point. I found the easiest way to do this was to stare into Jean’s eyes the whole time we were together, but I bumped into a lot of people, especially during the period changes when the halls were full.
And then one time I caught a glimpse of a behind in front of us, and next thing I knew I was staring at it, its rolling tic-toc was a hypnotist’s watch, and I couldn’t look away. The owner of the magnificent behind turned into her class, and I snapped out of it, to look over at Jean, hoping she wasn’t watching. She was glaring at me.
She shook her head, a slow small shake, and said nothing. I said, “Sorry about that.”
“I just got hypnotized. I couldn’t help it.” Rather than answer me, she turned a one eighty, and walked the other way. The maneuver caught me off guard, and I just watched her behind sashay away. “Nice ass,” I remarked. I figured Miss Farr would say it was the wrong time for humor, but I didn’t know what else to do.
I told Mike and Kyana at lunch. Kyana said, “Was it my ass? I should get a license.”
Mike said, “You’ve got to control yourself, man. Girls deserve respect; she deserves it.”
“Yoda says, ‘Do or do not. There is no try.’” Star Wars trumped everything.
“What do I do now?”
Kyana had that one. “You got to do something nice for her. Buy her flowers, write her an apology and talk about how much you like her. Can you write poems?”
Mike said, “He can write shitty ones.”
“Well, get Mike to write you one. His are pretty good.”
“You’ve got to pay me ten bucks.”
Mike’s poem wasn’t bad. I’ve included it here.
Upon looking away from where I want to look
I have seen a lot of things, and some of them are asses,
I have dreamed a lot of things, some with long lashes,
But you still surprise me when your beauty flashes.
Without you, I’m a drunk driver, I caroom crashes.
Sorry, whip me forty lashes, slice me with tongue slashes,
But talk to me, cause you’re still my only boo-smashes.
I re-wrote the poem in my handwriting and slipped it into her locker. She texted me, “Its OK- but if u do it again L”.
We met before practice and I told her how much I liked her and it should have been nice but I felt a little fake. I liked looking at that other butt. I didn’t like that she didn’t like it, so now I pretended something else.
I realized that a relationship was a responsibility, even if it involved kissing, which was really nice.